Eric Nordhoff - The Eternal Optimist

My Boys Need Me Now More Than Ever

I'm heading into that time in every Dad's life where it is getting serious.  My oldest is 10 and my youngest boy is 8.  It's hitting me pretty hard. They need me.  They need me badly. I'm hearing a loud voice screaming inside of me saying "They need me now more than ever."  I'm overwhelmed.  About being the dad my boys really need, I feel a mixture of excitement (this is what I've looked forward to since the day I learned I was having a boy) and fear (I'm not equipped to do this at all...let alone do it right).  Here's an article I recently was pointed to from CNN.com... "The Myth About Boys". 

So, this blog post is really just me expressing my fear and excitement about being that Dad that I hoped I would be when I saw and held my son for the first time.  Thanks for letting me ramble a bit. 

Here we go, boys.  I'm doing my best.  I'm going to say "I'm sorry" a lot because I will mess things up from time to time.  Know that I love you anyway. We're going to have a lot of fun, experiences and adventure together over the next 8-10 years, okay?!!

Here's something I plan to attend in 2010 with Alex, my oldest.  AbbasWay Retreat.

Tales of a Dying Superman

This is a post written Brian Daniel, that I thought was worth sharing.  You can check out his blog by clicking here.  Enjoy the read….I did!

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Small Groupologist Rick Howerton is fond of putting a note of authenticity to what is typically a mundane question when he asks, “How are you doing REALLY?” Recently I had an opportunity to have lunch with a friend I spent some of my high school and all of my college years with. Right away I asked him how he was doing, he said “fine.” There was a pause. The word “really”  hung in the air for a moment before he added, “I don’t know. Sometimes I think bad thoughts.”

“Like what?”

“Like, ‘I wonder what would happen if I just left.’”

“What do you mean, ‘left’?”

“‘Left’ as in ‘left and never came back.’”

Of course we talked our way through it for a few minutes. He wasn’t serious. At least, wasn’t serious in considering walking out on his life. But what he was saying was how tired of the routines and the mundane of life he has become. This can’t be uncommon in men getting close to 40 or thereabouts. The word my friend used was “trapped.” In an email exchange I had with yet another friend in this demographic I got the following:

“I wake up a lot of days and have the same what I’ll call malaise. It’s like the new day I’m facing is the exact same day I had yesterday and tomorrow doesn’t promise to be much different or better.”

Now that’s just being honest. Who can’t relate to something on the level of Groundhog Day at least for stretches (for me it tends to be January-March). Neither of these men would describe the lives as bad or their families as anything other than a blessing. I’ve known them both for most of my life and can honestly say that I love them. They’re both very successful at what they do. But I do wonder what the sum of these conversations is and what implication it has for the larger culture of today. In what ways have we both robbed ourselves and, perhaps, been robbed of adventure—which would seem to be part of the issue at hand.

If you take a moment to consider the various radio commercials you hear as well as the corporate advertisements seen on television,  but particularly television sitcoms, the sum of it is that it appears that masculinity has been lost. There was time when every young boy dreamed of being Superman. It was reinforced in our heroes, our culture—the fact is that something was expected; that life demanded something of you. A boy was expected to look the inevitable storms in the eye, forge a path through the night and face the darkness, and grow into significance. This is not commentary on leadership, but on masculinity. This is how a man bears God’s image. Alas Superman! But our culture it seems would like nothing more than to tear this image down. Of course during peace times—times with little to no adversity, strife, and war—this attribute of masculinity isn’t as vital. The mistake that’s made, however, is that these times of perceived peace are just that: perceived. The reality is that we are always at war and masculinity should always be summoned into the breach of the battles set before us. These battles tend to call out the best in us.

We need Superman, or what Friedrich Nietzsche referred to as the ubermensch that overcomes traditional boundaries to rise above the herd. Symptoms like the conversations I describe above are indicative of a dying Superman, a Superman robbed of battle and adventure, conditioned to be content to sit in front of the television on Saturdays and Sundays. But instead we are moving more and more into a liberal era that continues to look to external agencies like government for solutions and rescue instead of the latent heroes within us. There is a Superman within us … all of us. This, I can’t help but believe, is the essence of the human condition.

Being a Good Leader

by Glenn McClure

Many men (including myself) in our community have been disillusioned by poor masculine leadership…many of us are desiring to be better and more loving leaders…found this in Proverbs this morning…qualities that make a good Christian leader…Eugene Peterson notes that “transforming leadership is the kind where the first one transformed is the leader.”

Proverbs 16:10

A good leader motivates, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t exploit.

If you notice, the values that we are learning (embodying) in our community are helping us become better leaders. We should motivate others and not mislead or exploit them. Can you imagine this type of leadership in the workplace? Can you imagine a boss (or being the kind of boss) who motivates with truth and honesty and desires your ( employee’s) ultimate good? What ripple effect would that have on companies and careers?

What about at home? The best way I know to motivate my wife is to serve her. She especially loves acts of service. She loves when I help clean up the house, do the dishes or make sure the kids are bathed and put to bed. When I serve my wife this way she lights up like a star. When she gets “Mommy time” and is able to enjoy solitude and recharge her batteries-she comes home not feeling mislead and exploited but cherished.

With my brothers-it is the practice of continued honesty, taking my turn on the mat, bringing current sin to confession-this keeps me from misleading or exploiting my friends.

As a father, apologizing to my son and daughters when I sin against them, deposits in them a gift that Dad is leading and loving with authenticity and not rhetoric. Bottom line: leading with honest weakness and current struggle will ensure that I am not exploiting and misleading the people around me.

The Great Life

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: . . Let not your heart be troubled."

John 14:27

Whenever a thing becomes difficult in personal experience, we are in danger of blaming God, but it is we who are in the wrong, not God, there is some perversity somewhere that we will not let go. Immediately we do, everything becomes as clear as daylight. As long as we try to serve two ends, ourselves and God, there is perplexity. The attitude must be one of complete reliance on God. When once we get there, there is nothing easier than living the saintly life; difficulty comes in when we want to usurp the authority of the Holy Spirit for our own ends.

Whenever you obey God, His seal is always that of peace, the witness of an unfathomable peace, which is not natural, but the peace of Jesus. Whenever peace does not come, tarry till it does or find out the reason why it does not. If you are acting on an impulse, or from a sense of the heroic, the peace of Jesus will not witness; there is no simplicity or confidence in God, because the spirit of simplicity is born of the Holy Ghost, not of your decisions. Every decision brings a reaction of simplicity.

My questions come whenever I cease to obey. When I have obeyed God, the problems never come between me and God, they come as probes to keep the mind going on with amazement at the revelation of God. Any problem that comes between God and myself springs out of disobedience; any problem, and there are many, that is alongside me while I obey God, increases my ecstatic delight, because I know that my Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this thing.

by Oswald Chambers
taken from "My Utmost For His Highest" daily devotional book.

Quietime Christmas at Walmart.com for $7.00

For a limited time only, Quietime Christmas will be available via Walmart.com for $7.00.  Check it out along with all the other seasonal titles offered.

Of course, you can buy it at Lifeway Christian Stores, Amazon.com, and download it on iTunes too.

Dedication Video for our Daughter

The song was written specifically for our girl, Anthem, and recorded by my wife as a demo. It's called "You Could Only Come From Heaven".

Joy

I have a couple of guys I meet with on a regular basis. We've been checking in lately with each other with an emotion that we're feeling right then.  The emotion choices are: Fear, Joy, Anger and Sadness.  We have to pick one and explain why.  We get right to the heart of the issues of our lives.  Needless to say, I'm grateful for these guys and the conversations we have usually impact me for hours or days afterwards. 

Today, I felt joy.  When you say 'joy', usually not much more needs to be said after that.  This time the guys asked me why I felt joy?  I said I was joyful because I was happy with the decisions I had been making lately.  I went on to describe that I felt joyful also because I was letting more things go and not putting too much pressure on myself.  I have fewer goals and that's helped me. 

As I thought about it later in the car on the way home, I began to ask myself.  What is real joy? Is it the joy we feel about ourselves?  Or is it the Joy of the Lord, as mentioned in the bible?  What is true joy?  I can't say that I've felt true joy very often.  Rare.  When I do, it's usually full of love, not a care in the world and an overall burdenless or light feeling.  I can say what I'm feeling is on the path to true joy though.  On the way to joy.  I'd rather be on the way to joy than anger, sadness or fear. 

Nobody's Got It All Together

Every now and then (almost daily) I need to be reminded that nobody else has it all together - why should I?

NOBODY'S GOT IT ALL TOGETHER
By Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn

Working hard to tie up the loose ends
So hard to decide who you let in
Put your best foot forward with a grin

I can see the fear behind your eyes
Wondering if someone will recognize
You’ve grown tired of keeping up the lies

Don’t whitewash the truth about yourself ‘cause
Nobody’s got it all together
If you want to be like everyone else well
Nobody’s got it all together

I have seen the darkness of my heart
And found a love that taught me its too hard
To walk through life and not let down my guard

What good is it to say please savior come
If there is nothing you need rescue from
Life is something no one has a corner on

Don’t whitewash the truth about yourself ‘cause
Nobody’s got it all together
If you want to be like everyone else well
Nobody’s got it all together

When the parts that are self righteous
Start to disappear
Every other life is
Just another mirror
And life is way too short to run and hide

Don’t whitewash the truth about yourself ‘cause
Nobody’s got it all together
If you want to be like everyone else well
Nobody’s got it all together

(c) 2004 Juvintud Music / St. Jerome Music (ASCAP)

The Ministry of the Unnoticed

Taken from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers

August 21, 2009

"Blessed are the poor in spirit..." - Matthew 5:3

The New Testament notices things that do not seem worthy of notice by our standards. "Blessed are the poor in spirit . . . ." This literally means, "Blessed are the paupers." Paupers are remarkably commonplace! The preaching of today tends to point out a person’s strength of will or the beauty of his character— things that are easily noticed. The statement we so often hear, "Make a decision for Jesus Christ," places the emphasis on something our Lord never trusted. He never asks us to decide for Him, but to yield to Him— something very different. At the foundation of Jesus Christ’s kingdom is the genuine loveliness of those who are commonplace. I am truly blessed in my poverty. If I have no strength of will and a nature without worth or excellence, then Jesus says to me, "Blessed are you, because it is through your poverty that you can enter My kingdom." I cannot enter His kingdom by virtue of my goodness— I can only enter it as an absolute pauper.

The true character of the loveliness that speaks for God is always unnoticed by the one possessing that quality. Conscious influence is prideful and unchristian. If I wonder if I am being of any use to God, I instantly lose the beauty and the freshness of the touch of the Lord. "He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water" ( John 7:38 ). And if I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord.

Who are the people who have influenced us most? Certainly not the ones who thought they did, but those who did not have even the slightest idea that they were influencing us. In the Christian life, godly influence is never conscious of itself. If we are conscious of our influence, it ceases to have the genuine loveliness which is characteristic of the touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring.

Wisdom From Above

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

James 3:17

Sometimes we question if we can discern what is of God and what isn't. If you question whether or not something originates from the wisdom and heart of God, measure it by the descriptors in this passage - pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, good fruits and sincere. Pretty straight-forward.

This is from The Daily Verse.