Eric Nordhoff - The Eternal Optimist

My Boys Need Me Now More Than Ever

I'm heading into that time in every Dad's life where it is getting serious.  My oldest is 10 and my youngest boy is 8.  It's hitting me pretty hard. They need me.  They need me badly. I'm hearing a loud voice screaming inside of me saying "They need me now more than ever."  I'm overwhelmed.  About being the dad my boys really need, I feel a mixture of excitement (this is what I've looked forward to since the day I learned I was having a boy) and fear (I'm not equipped to do this at all...let alone do it right).  Here's an article I recently was pointed to from CNN.com... "The Myth About Boys". 

So, this blog post is really just me expressing my fear and excitement about being that Dad that I hoped I would be when I saw and held my son for the first time.  Thanks for letting me ramble a bit. 

Here we go, boys.  I'm doing my best.  I'm going to say "I'm sorry" a lot because I will mess things up from time to time.  Know that I love you anyway. We're going to have a lot of fun, experiences and adventure together over the next 8-10 years, okay?!!

Here's something I plan to attend in 2010 with Alex, my oldest.  AbbasWay Retreat.

Being a Good Leader

by Glenn McClure

Many men (including myself) in our community have been disillusioned by poor masculine leadership…many of us are desiring to be better and more loving leaders…found this in Proverbs this morning…qualities that make a good Christian leader…Eugene Peterson notes that “transforming leadership is the kind where the first one transformed is the leader.”

Proverbs 16:10

A good leader motivates, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t exploit.

If you notice, the values that we are learning (embodying) in our community are helping us become better leaders. We should motivate others and not mislead or exploit them. Can you imagine this type of leadership in the workplace? Can you imagine a boss (or being the kind of boss) who motivates with truth and honesty and desires your ( employee’s) ultimate good? What ripple effect would that have on companies and careers?

What about at home? The best way I know to motivate my wife is to serve her. She especially loves acts of service. She loves when I help clean up the house, do the dishes or make sure the kids are bathed and put to bed. When I serve my wife this way she lights up like a star. When she gets “Mommy time” and is able to enjoy solitude and recharge her batteries-she comes home not feeling mislead and exploited but cherished.

With my brothers-it is the practice of continued honesty, taking my turn on the mat, bringing current sin to confession-this keeps me from misleading or exploiting my friends.

As a father, apologizing to my son and daughters when I sin against them, deposits in them a gift that Dad is leading and loving with authenticity and not rhetoric. Bottom line: leading with honest weakness and current struggle will ensure that I am not exploiting and misleading the people around me.

Dedication Video for our Daughter

The song was written specifically for our girl, Anthem, and recorded by my wife as a demo. It's called "You Could Only Come From Heaven".

First Wave

My little girl made her first actual attempt at a wave today.  Anthem is 5 and 1/2 months old.  She was in her Mommy's arms and she looked over at me and smiled/laughed really big like she always does.  Then, she lifted her arm and twisted her wrist back and forth to wave at me.  I wanted to see if it was an accident, so I looked at her again, smiled and waved.  She smiled and did the same waving motion again.  It was so cute.  I did it a third time, this time with her older brother, Kaden's help.  Sure enough, she smiled and waved again.  There you go, another one of Anthem's firsts.  Another Anthem milestone.

Anthem's Milestones

Anthem turned 5 months old a couple of weeks ago.  Krissy and I don't plan on having another child - unless a real miracle occurs - and I do mean miracle!  So, we're a bit sentimental about our last child.  We will never again experience our own child's firsts.  Another way of looking at it is that we feel so blessed to be able to go through this experience again that we are appreciating so much more this time around.  We're having so much fun with her.  I rarely find myself complaining or whining about things. 

So that they are recorded forever, I'm planning a new series of our baby's milestones in the next few blogs - complete with video and pictures (if all goes well). 

FIRST SMILE

Anthem smiled early and smiles often - very often.  All I have to do is look at her and she smiles, sometimes she even laughs out loud.  She also loves the boys - she laughs at them all the time.  When she sees Mom she smiles and laughs too, but she mostly says "Mmmmmm".  It's so cute.  Here's a picture of when I knew that she laughed on purpose, not just because she had gas :).  She was about 2 weeks old.  This picture was taken in early April.  That's her Amo's hand next to her.

FranklinMom.com

Lately, I've been helping my wife develop her blog - FranklinMom.com.  We've been encouraged by the early response.  I must say that women really love to socialize.  I can see why MomBloggers are the most powerful bloggers in cyberspace.  We have some big plans for the site and for the community to get involved.  More to come soon.  In the meantime, if you are a mom living in Williamson County, TN, this site would be great for you.  It's jam packed with family fun activity ideas, grocery shopping lists, recipes, events in Franklin, advice and so much more for the Franklin Mom. 

My Two Sons and Football

Kaden, the little rocket. Alex, Super Bear.

Summer Update

I haven't written since before July 4th.   Where has the time gone?  Let's see...

We spent July 4th weekend with the Bryan's at their house.  We lit up firecrackers that night, which we bought at the Triune Mall Flea Market.  Not sure why the flea market part of that sentence was so important, but oh well. 

Then, from there, I flew to Denver for a short trip to ICRS (the International Christian Retail Show).  It's my annual convention for the Christian retail trade industry.  I met with many friends and accounts.  It's always a worthwhile time on many levels. 

We took our house off the market shortly thereafter as it was not selling.  We had 20 showings and no offers in 90 days.  All of us were tired of keeping the house clean constantly - especially with a newborn in our home.  We decided to take the rest of the summer to sell off the remaining items we brought back into our garage from storage.  I've read two books on eBay, Amazon.com, Half.com and Craigslist.  I feel very edu-ma-cated on the subject and beginning to work on online selling and marketing of my "stuff".  I'm currently reading a book on selling my house For Sale By Owner.  That's what we plan to do once we've sold all of our stuff. 

We've been looking at several homes in several different neighborhoods.  We like new homes in the Stags Leap (off Arno Road), Kings Chapel (off 96 in Arrington) and Autumn Ridge (in Spring Hill) subdivisions.  We also like the idea of staying in our school district and keeping things stable for the boys.  However, we have only found homes that need a lot of work in Fieldstone Farms and Cottonwood.  These places are comfortable for us, but we're not excited about all of the work it's going to take to get them to where we need them.  In the meantime, we are making the best of things in our current house.  I have a lot of home improvement projects to do around the house.  We feel it may be best to take care of those anyway before we put the house back on the market. 

My parents have picked a condo in Tollgate, closed on the home on July 28th and have just moved into the new home this weekend.  Furniture has arrived and they are settling in.  It's a beautiful 3-bedroom condo on the top floor overlooking the rolling hills of Franklin, TN.  They are just in the outskirts of Franklin in Thompson's Station.  It's a perfect location right next to the I-840 junction and an easy 10 minute drive to their future golf course community - Laurel Cove (planned to be finished next year) built by Greg Norman.

We had a fun time with Mr. Jim Harrison (from church) who took the boys and I fishing on Gentry Farm.  Check out the pic to the right.  The boys caught over 10 fish each - mostly Blue Gill.  Alex and Mr. Jim caught a catfish each.

We had church camp this past weekend.  We had such a great time.  We were at Tims Ford Lake State Park.  We stayed in cabins in the park.  During the day, we'd spend most of our time in a private cabin owned by one of the members of our church.  The theme of our camp was "Soar".  Isaiah 40:31 was our scripture theme. 

      But those who wait on the LORD
      Shall renew their strength;
      They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
      They shall run and not be weary,
      They shall walk and not faint. 

We had a wonderful time of worship, singing and teaching in the mornings.  Our afternoons were spent boating, tubing, riding Sea Doos, fishing, talking, playing golf and eating - lots of good eating.  We had a talent show one night.  We had some great laughs and great fun. Check out an iMix on iTunes of some of the music we sang at camp.

Yesterday, we went to Target, bought the boys some back to school clothes, rolling book bags and supplies.  School starts Thursday and I think we're all ready to get back into our school routine. 
We also visited with Amo & Apo at their place.  The boys had fun helping Apo put together the new TV stand in "their room".  I took a nap!  Then, we went over to Kings Chapel and spent time some good friends at their new pool.  That was nice, but we were tired in the end.  Krissy went to bed at 8pm.  I put the boys and Anthem down by 9pm.  And, I've finally had time to breathe. 

We have a lot to do the rest of the summer.  My work is ever changing.  I'm developing several offshoots to Go Global Entertainment - namely a direct to church division and direct to consumer division.  These will be my focus in the years to come in addition to the existing International licensing and distribution business.  I'm in the middle of changing my distribution systems and plan to move out of my existing warehouse this month. 

I'm back on P90X after a short break due to a small surgery I had two weeks ago.  I'm ready to get back at it.  I'm off now to go do Stretch X. 

More updates shortly...at least now you're caught up.

The 'sir and ma'am' Debate

We'd like our boys (and daughter...eventually) to show respect to adults they interact with in their lives.  My two boys are 7 and 9.  It's been about two years now that I've been bothered by the fact that they don't look other adults in the eye or speak respectfully to them when they are spoken to.  But, when I tell them to show respect, I tell them to definitely look people in the eye, but from there, I haven't made up my mind whether they should address adults as sir or ma'am, Mr. and Mrs., Miss or Mrs., Mr. (firstname) or Mrs. (last name).  

I grew up that it was respectful to call people by their last name.  For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Keneally", for instance.  I think that stems from my German roots.  In Germany, I've observed they call each other by last name in business settings.  They don't say "Herr" or "Frau" much anymore, from what I can tell, they just call each other "Nordhoff", for example.  

But, here in the south (I live in Tennessee), most kids address adults as "sir" or "ma'am".  We've tried the southern way and sometimes it feels awkward. They boys don't always do it and they don't want to look adults in the eye.  Shoot, I can't even get them to hug correctly.  When, they go to hug their "Amo" or "Apo", they go into the hug and turn around backwards...that's a new one to me. I feel very southern, which is not natural to me, to teach them the "sir" or "ma'am" route.  I guess if the military teaches its privates to show respect to those higher in rank, it can't be all that bad.

So, I'm not quite sure my intent with this blog post other than to share (with my little world or readers...which is very VERY small) my thoughts and challenges of teaching my kids to show respect to other adults.  I haven't made a clear decision on this, and that's half my problem. My kids are going to be so confused about this issue unless I decide on something soon.

The Word of God is the ultimate authority for our family.  I don't know why I don't turn to God sooner...well, I do know why...I'm self-centered by nature...aren't we all?  Regardless, here's what it says about children respecting adults:

"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord." - Leviticus 19:32

The Ten Commandments teach that we honor our parents.

Romans 12:10 exhorts us to treat one another with brotherly love "in honor preferring one another". Philippians 2:3 encourage us to "esteem each other better" than ourselves. I Peter 2:17 states, "Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king." I Peter 5:5 exhorts the elders in the church to feed the flock and be an example to them, but not be lords over God's heritage. The younger are to be submit themselves to the elder.

So, to me, I interpret that we do have a responsibility to raise our children to show respect to adults and even as they become adults, to show respect to their elders.  

So, help me God, as I struggle and find my way to do this.

Here are a couple of articles on the subject that I've read...or at least, skimmed...

http://www.connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/respect.html

http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/respect.html

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2449176193&topic=6250

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/AskPastorJohn/ByTopic/40/3244_Why_does_having_disobedient_children_unfit_a_man_for_church_leadership/

http://www.teach-nology.com/tutorials/teaching/respect/

Happy Mother's Day

We had a beautiful Mother's Day.  It was a wonderful day at church.  I did a skit involving 2 Jamaicans (if you want further explanation, please leave a comment).  Then, we ate at Stoveworks in the Factory.  They had a yummy buffet.   After that, Krissy took a nap and now we're off to Crockett Park to watch a free concert by the Nashville Symphony.  

We took some great pictures of Krissy and our girl.   I'm so glad Krissy got her girl.

Happy Mother's Day!