Eric Nordhoff - The Eternal Optimist

The 'sir and ma'am' Debate

We'd like our boys (and daughter...eventually) to show respect to adults they interact with in their lives.  My two boys are 7 and 9.  It's been about two years now that I've been bothered by the fact that they don't look other adults in the eye or speak respectfully to them when they are spoken to.  But, when I tell them to show respect, I tell them to definitely look people in the eye, but from there, I haven't made up my mind whether they should address adults as sir or ma'am, Mr. and Mrs., Miss or Mrs., Mr. (firstname) or Mrs. (last name).  

I grew up that it was respectful to call people by their last name.  For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Keneally", for instance.  I think that stems from my German roots.  In Germany, I've observed they call each other by last name in business settings.  They don't say "Herr" or "Frau" much anymore, from what I can tell, they just call each other "Nordhoff", for example.  

But, here in the south (I live in Tennessee), most kids address adults as "sir" or "ma'am".  We've tried the southern way and sometimes it feels awkward. They boys don't always do it and they don't want to look adults in the eye.  Shoot, I can't even get them to hug correctly.  When, they go to hug their "Amo" or "Apo", they go into the hug and turn around backwards...that's a new one to me. I feel very southern, which is not natural to me, to teach them the "sir" or "ma'am" route.  I guess if the military teaches its privates to show respect to those higher in rank, it can't be all that bad.

So, I'm not quite sure my intent with this blog post other than to share (with my little world or readers...which is very VERY small) my thoughts and challenges of teaching my kids to show respect to other adults.  I haven't made a clear decision on this, and that's half my problem. My kids are going to be so confused about this issue unless I decide on something soon.

The Word of God is the ultimate authority for our family.  I don't know why I don't turn to God sooner...well, I do know why...I'm self-centered by nature...aren't we all?  Regardless, here's what it says about children respecting adults:

"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord." - Leviticus 19:32

The Ten Commandments teach that we honor our parents.

Romans 12:10 exhorts us to treat one another with brotherly love "in honor preferring one another". Philippians 2:3 encourage us to "esteem each other better" than ourselves. I Peter 2:17 states, "Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king." I Peter 5:5 exhorts the elders in the church to feed the flock and be an example to them, but not be lords over God's heritage. The younger are to be submit themselves to the elder.

So, to me, I interpret that we do have a responsibility to raise our children to show respect to adults and even as they become adults, to show respect to their elders.  

So, help me God, as I struggle and find my way to do this.

Here are a couple of articles on the subject that I've read...or at least, skimmed...

http://www.connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/respect.html

http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/respect.html

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2449176193&topic=6250

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/AskPastorJohn/ByTopic/40/3244_Why_does_having_disobedient_children_unfit_a_man_for_church_leadership/

http://www.teach-nology.com/tutorials/teaching/respect/

Society

A society in which consumption has to be artificially stimulated in order to keep production going is a society founded on trash and waste, and such a society is a house built upon sand. -Dorothy Sayers

Invest

"The more you invest in others, the more right you have to speak into their lives." - Anita Williams

Defeat

"No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality." 

Christ follower vs. Christian

Scratch Beginnings: Me, $25 and the Search for the American Dream

I just finished this book by Adam Shepard on my vacation to Michigan.  Here's a quick review.  

I was turned onto this book by Dave Ramsey, who recommends it on his website.  

It's the true story of a young college graduate who sets a goal after 365 days to go from homeless with only $25 in his pocket and the clothes on his back to having $2500 in savings, having a roof over his head and a car to drive.  It's an entertaining story, told from his perspective. 

It made me appreciate what I have and reminded me to stop whining and complaining when I begin to think about what I don't have.  The book restored my "make it happen" attitude.  It reminded me to get back to the basics, set goals, and do everything I can to achieve them.  I highly recommend it.  I won't ruin the ending for you.

Butternut Blog

What kind of people would give away a puppy - especially one as a cute and cuddly as a puggle?  Apparently the Nordhoff family, whoever they are, would.  A friend of mine forwarded this blog from a poor puggle named Butternut.  This puppy started a blog in hopes that his "Papa Eric" would find him.  How sad?  If any of my readers know "Papa Eric" or the Nordhoffs who apparently live in a place called "Nordhaven", please contact Butternut.  

Our prayers go out to you, Butternut.  From the looks of it, you may not want to find "Papa Eric".  He sounds like a very bad person to give you away like that.

Eat For Life

To truly live, you must learn how to eat.  Here are some simple reminders of advice you've probably heard before:

Eat 5 to 6 times daily (3 meals and 2-3 snacks).  It keeps your metabolism working around the clock.

Drink at least 8 eight ounce cups of water a day.  This also helps with metabolism and keeps everything well 'lubricated'.

Understand labels.  Ingredient labels on the food we buy are sometimes really hard to read.  Simple advice: if the list of ingredients is long, it's man-made and not good for you.  

Don't eat processed and refined foods such as white flour, sugar, bread and pasta.  Complex carbs are best - such as whole grains.

Stay away from saturated and trans fats.  This means anything fried or high in sugar.  Look for healthy fats high in Omega 3 and essential fatty acids.

Control your portion sizes.  Don't eat large portions.  A general rule: anything the size of your palm or fist counts as a portion. Remember this when you want to eat a portion of vegetables, protein and carbs.  

Keep the red wine to a minimum.  Anything more than one glass a day is harmful to you.

Slow down.  This one is tough for me.  I generally want to gobble up my food.  Eating slower and chewing well is good for your stomach.  It helps the digestive process.  It also allows your body to tell you when you are full much quicker.  Allow yourself to taste and savor your food.  It will be much more enjoyable overall.

Eat with your family.  I've read studies that families that eat together stay together more often.  Eating a meal with your family will give you an opportunity to touch base and talk about all kinds of things.  It's amazing what happens if we slow down for a bit and enjoy a meal together!

Mother Teresa Quotes

I was at a concert last night and I reminded of a great quote by Mother Teresa.  "We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

After that, I started looking up some more quotes from her (thanks to BrainyQuote.com) Here are some of my favorites:

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Jesus said love one another. He didn't say love the whole world.

      

Wisdom From Above

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

James 3:17

Sometimes we question if we can discern what is of God and what isn't. If you question whether or not something originates from the wisdom and heart of God, measure it by the descriptors in this passage - pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, good fruits and sincere. Pretty straight-forward.

This is from The Daily Verse.